Following their union meeting late Friday night, Munaca released the news that they had hired Mike D of the Beastie Boys to drop by and “school them” on their picketing techniques. The New York drummer is set to work with the staff over the next few weeks, imparting his crazy knowledge and expert skills on rhythm, rapping, and hyping up the scene. Mike D has been getting hyphy since the Beastie Boys formed in 1979 and is considered an expert in the field. It is expected that his flair is just what Munaca needs to “get stoked.”
“I’m not going to lie, we haven’t been very successful lately,” admitted union leader Sarah Bishop, “We all know what we want, but we’ve got no beat. The McGill Administration just doesn’t take us seriously when we have a hundred strikers out there creating a noisy, annoying racket.”
Munaca’s lack of flow is no secret. In fact, all you have to do is post up at the Roddick Gates with your crew for a few seconds before you start feeling like tossing up that bowl of Captain Crunch you had for breakfast. Despite showing up with a vast diversity of instruments, from snare drums to spoons and tin cups, the strikers have remained unable to feel the beat.
“Their beats are wack, dog,” said Mike D in a recent interview, “like, they just don’t get it right? They’ve got the energy, they’re feelin’ the love, but they’re being way to square about it, you feel me? How do they expect to get shit done when they can’t even get the streets poppin? But it’s ok, because I know just what they need. It’s going to be like L.A. when Rodney King got beat up after I’m done with them. I’m going to go in and drop a fucking half-empty keg on their head, break a few windows, and get wasted. It’s going to be crazy, and at first, they’re going to be scared shitless, but then I’m going get mad funky and show those mothers how to fight for their right.”
This represents an important step in Munaca’s bargaining techniques, which many hope will finally lead them to success.
“I’m excited,” remarked an anonymous picketer, “It was hard, at first, to admit how lame our beats are, but once we got past that step, we started making some real progress, and bringing in Mike D is definitely a step in the right direction.”
Mike D has been in the hip-hop game for over thirty years and is considered a virtuoso in the industry. Hailing from New York, New York he has been doing hoodrat stuff all his life. The Beastie Boys started getting noticed after their 1984 album “Fight For Your Right” and they’ve been riding the wave ever since. Their most recent album, “Hot Sauce Committee Part 2” failed to disappoint and reaffirmed the Boys’ status as hip-hop legends.
Mike D is the man for the job, and with any luck, Munaca is going to get set up with some dope pensions and benefits right in time to throw down for Halloween.
