You’re trying to figure out what to do for your birthday, but the mini-golf course is all booked up, you can’t find a reputable piñata retailer, and all the local escort services have blacklisted your phone number. Now you’re stuck, out of ideas. Don’t reach for the sleeping pills and plastic bag quite yet, because there’s still a solution. After years of research, 50 Cent and G-Unit have developed a foolproof methodology for birthday celebration that’s illustrated in the flow-chart below. Use it, or die trying!
