Steve arrived home from school excited and expectant. He wanted to get high. He appreciated his roommate Josh because he always had a joint waiting. Josh was someone Steve could count on.
Today was different though. There was no weed. Josh was sitting on the couch watching Maury Povich, sober. Steve was visibly dismayed, and Josh, realizing his mistake, remembered that he had some salvia in his bedroom. Running to get it, he offered half of it to Steve. Not feeling too psychedelic, Steve declined. But Josh, having become quite enthusiastic over the possibilities of tripping, continued. He sat down in front of Maury and proceeded to smoke all of the Salvia.
High, Josh watched the show. After receiving the strange results of a paternity test, the father of only one of two twins proceeded to dance around the stage exclaiming: ‘One out of two ain’t bad.’ The father was quite pleased with himself.
Josh, having just witnessed this, stood up, cried a single tear, amazed at the beauty of it all and retreated to his room for a nap. He was tired.
David smoked his salvia, got high, blacked out and woke up a happy child. He made friends, was sociable, hid from his parents and found out things about girls. Wendy was the nicest he met. They spent a great deal of time together, and, over time became the closest of friends. At the age of twenty-three David realized how perfect Wendy really was. There was nothing else in his life that made him feel as good, as warm, as her. He proposed. Like the honest, kind hearted girl she was, she said yes, and devoted herself to him. They were happy.
A year later Catherine was born. Their first child was beautiful.
David and Wendy, again, felt it necessary to procreate, and produced a second daughter, Constance. David enjoyed it thoroughly. Wendy was slightly trepidatious, but was appeasing, and let her figured concerns slip.
David raised his children with the greatest aplomb – he was a stand up father. His wife loved him for it, and his children appreciated his sense of humor, and his general steadfastness.
The three women, Wendy, Catherine, and Constance were brought up as one of the happiest of families. On Wendy’s thirty-second birthday, which happened to be the couple’s sixth anniversary, David sat his family down for a serious talk.
First he looked to his youngest daughter, Constance, and said: “Daughter, you know I love you with all of my heart.” Then, looking at Catherine, he said, “And you too. I love you almost too much.” Finally, he turned to his wife, and said, “Wendy, I have cherished every singly day I have spent with you, and I only wish there could be a thousand more like them, but, I have to go. And it pains me to say this to the three of you, my two beautiful daughters, and my lovely wife, but I have been incredibly high on salvia and now need to get out of here. Goodbye.’
David blacked out again and woke up in his bedroom.
~ Roddy Mackay
