Jim Martin Hates the Media: Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Jim Martin Hates the Media: Beverly Hills Chihuahua

Coming straight from Hollywood’s asshole into your eyes is this fall’s Beverly Hills Chihuahua. The film, a sequel to the classic Beverly Hills Ninja, is seemingly geared towards Mid-western housewives and other mentally challenged individuals, and appears to possess no artistic merit whatsoever. As a disclaimer I have not seen nor do I ever intend to see this film. This will not, however, stop me from judging it. Some prejudices are just fine when dealing with such topics.

            The trailer that I saw while watching my beloved television portrayed the heroic struggle of a pampered chihuahua who, like many of us on spring break, gets lost in Mexico. Through the help of some Mexican stereotype dogs, she presumably finds her way back home, borrowing heavily from Homeward Bound (or any other movie in which animals talk and drugs are not specifically involved). The film’s release coincides nicely with Paris Hilton’s recent loss of her chihuahuas to ravaging coyotes. In the face of such a monumental tragedy, it’s just good to laugh again. Or, well, it would be. In the same way that The Wizard of Oz syncs up with “Dark Side of the Moon,” this film would go much better with a blindfold and earplugs. If this film does well at the box office, I may have to film its sequel: Quebec Chihuahua: Escape from Puppy Mill Island

RATING: D-, but the blindfold/earplug combo puts it up to a B+.

                                                                                                                                                                                                       ~ Jim Martin

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