Ezra Black is The Red Herring’s longest serving foot soldier. In trying to do an exposé on this elusive character I was forced to delve into the deepest cracks of McGill’s ample posterior. Day later, when I emerged I was covered in glorious journalistic filth. It all started in the SSMU building, room 417, The Red Herring office. I arrived for our interview in time to see Mr. Black hastily concealing his bed roll.
The Red Herring: Evening Mr. Black.
Ezra: If you so much as breathe a word about this to anyone I’ll kill you, understand?
The Red Herring: What? that you’re illegally living in this office?
Ezra: No, that I’m showering in the sink.
The Red Herring: You have my word, I swear nobody will know.
Ezra: *Phew*
The Red Herring: So why exactly are you living in this office?
Ezra: Well the rent’s pretty cheap; it costs me five bucks a month for the night janitor to look the other way. Plus I get free water from the water fountain! Can you imagine! Free!
The Red Herring: Ok, moving right along. Many former Herring editors have gone on to do great things with their lives. Do you have any plans for the future?
Ezra: I’m with you there. The editors of the past have set the bar pretty high. I mean there’s that one guy who wrote the screenplay for the Transformers movie. I suppose he’s the gold standard for now.
The Red Herring: Indeed. What about Blake Gregory, editor and chief from last year?
Ezra: Yes I heard he was working for a charitable organization. But it turns out he’s just dropping his pants for small change on the corner of Peel and St-Catherine.
The Red Herring: Well that’s a charity of sorts.
Ezra: Tell that to the squeegee kids, he’s been stealing all their business.
The Red Herring: Very funny Mr. Black. Seriously now, any plans for the future?
Ezra: Kidney salesman, and after that, maybe half my liver? Do you want to buy some pubic hair?
The Red Herring: I think I’ll pass.
~Ezra Black
